Executive Advice: Don’t lose your cool

I used to be a huge hot head.  I was known for being somewhat explosive.  Like most “up-and-comers” I had more passion for our company than I knew what to do with.  When people made mistakes, or people didn’t get “it”(whatever “it” may have been) I would lose my cool and raise my voice.  I would almost always dismiss this person’s ideas.

You really do get more bees with honey.

It was one of the hardest lessons I had to learn in my career, and it was one of the most valuable.  Keep your head about you at all times.  It’s NOT OK to freak out.  Freak-outs, losing your temper, yelling, finger pointing, rash decisions, freezing up are all acts of panic and fear.  A “Bad Executive” never panics.  Instead they keep their cool and keep control of their situation.

“Tell yourself to ‘stay calm.’  If you have ten seconds to make a decision think for nine”
- Jeffrey J. Fox - How To Become CEO

You will never impress anyone by attacking them.  You will never get too far ahead by blaming everyone else.  Instead, take a deep breath.  You probably may need to quell your employees.  The masses will whip your frenzy for you.  There is a reason you are the boss, at least in theory.  It’s because you are better able to deal with the problems that might pop-up (again, in theory).  The person in charge should always seek to calm everyone down as well as solve the underlying problem.

FIRST calm everyone down.  If yours are like mine they will cackle like chickens until you stop them.  SECOND think about the problem and find a solution.  THIRD make your solution clear to the chickens and send them back to the coop.

Here are some basic steps in dealing with those things that make you blow your top:

  1. The cause. Identify what causes you to fall under pressure, so that you will be able to focus on the root problem and avoid other distractions at the moment.
  2. Prioritize. Perhaps you are facing a lot of dilemmas all at one time, so you have to know which one significantly hinders your level of functioning. Prioritize according to importance and urgency.
  3. Formula. You have to determine a solution that is specifically designed for the particular problem that you intend to eliminate.
  4. Schedule. Create a schedule and carry out your plan one step at a time.
  5. Attitude. You have to give yourself time first to relax and let go of all the current problems. Do not panic, as it will only make matters worse.
    (roughly taken from this rather droll article)

No matter how you do it, KEEP YOUR WITS ABOUT YOU.  It’s why you are there and if you can’t you are even more a part of the problem.

“The most important skill in staying calm is not to lose sleep over the small issues.  The second most important skill is to be able to view all issues as small issues.”
-Paul Wilson

On the flip side, if you find this type of tantrum come your way, NEVER retaliate.  As a matter of fact, you shouldn’t even respond.  Instead you should laugh.  If you laugh you never give up the control.  In the process you are telling everyone in earshot you cant be rattled by someone losing their temper.  If you don’t you are just another cackling chicken.  Executives run the hen house, not roost in it.

How do I make a limited profile on the New Facebook?

They changed it all around, I had to re-educate myself on how to do it.  It used to be so easy, there was just a Limited Profile you could add people to.  Now it’s far more complicated.

Ok, you go to friends tab from your profile. On the left you will see FRIENDS LISTS, and below that a button for MAKE A NEW LIST.  GO ahead and make a new list, I called mine PEOPLE I DON’T FUCKING TRUST.

Now that your list is created, you can add people to it.  Select the new list (PEOPLE I DON’T FUCKING TRUST).  That will highlight the list on the left and then in the middle it should show you a box that says “ADD TO LIST” and to the right of that “SELECT MULTIPLE FRIENDS”.  If you choose the “select multiple friends” option, the grid comes up and you can sleect all of the people you regret adding to your facebook in the first place.  Go ahead and select all the rejects you don’t trust and then choose “SAVE LIST”

Easy right?  Not at fucking all, but whatever.  Now that that’s done, we can set the privacy settings.

On the top header bar for FaceBook on the right hand side you should see “SETTINGS”.  It should be just next to “HOME”, “LOGOUT” and the search box.  If you put your mouse over “SETTINGS” you should see a drop down.  Select “PRIVACY SETTINGS” and you should be taken to the privacy settings page.

Select “PROFILE” from the privacy settings page, it should be the top option.  Each option has a drop down where you can select who can see each aspect of your profile.  You can limit the whole profile to be seen by:

  • Networks and Friends
  • Friends of Friends
  • Only Friends
  • Customize.

It’s a little tricky in this section, as you don’t have the same controls over each item.  Profile and Basic info will only allow you to choose from the list above.  Personal Info however will let you exclude a particular friends list.  Just below personal settings, you will see a link labeled “EDIT CUSTOM SETTINGS”.  If you click that a dialog box titled WHO CAN SEE THIS? comes up.  At the bottom of that box you are looking for EXCEPT THESE PEOPLE.  Start typing the name of your list (PEOPLE I DON’T FUCKING TRUST) into that box.  When it finds your list select it and then hit OKAY.  You’ll see the list below with a red negative sign next to it.  You may have to select ONLY FRIENDS for this one to show up.

Here is how mine is set-up:

Profile: friends of friends
Basic Info: Friends of Friends
Personal Info: Only Friends
excluding PEOPLE I DON’T FUCKING TRUST

Status Updates: Only Friends
Photos Tagged of You: Only Friends
excluding PEOPLE I DON’T FUCKING TRUST

Videos Tagged of You: Only Friends
excluding PEOPLE I DON’T FUCKING TRUST

Friends: Friends of Friends
excluding: PEOPLE I DON’T FUCKING TRUST

Wall: Friends of Friends
excluding: PEOPLE I DON’T FUCKING TRUST

Education: Friends of Friends

Work info: Friends of Friends


You will also notice a link below PHOTS TAGGED OF YOU to edit your photo albums privacy.  Same thing here.  On a gallery by gallery basis you can select customize and exclude any list you want.  Depending on the gallery, lock them down.  I recommend leaving your profile pictures open to everyone.

You now have set-up a “limited profile list” and have limited what your friends and people you don’t trust can and can not see.  Now when you add new friends, you can select which list to add them to rght from where you add them as a friend.  So you can avoid adding them and then hiding your dirty secrets from them after the fact.

So now we go back to the main privacy settings page…

The rest of the options here are fairly self explanatory.  The SEARCH option will allow you to limit which parts of your profile are visible in a search and who can search for you.  News Feed and Wall will let you limit what notifications your friends see on their friend feeds.  So if you don’t want someone to see when you change your relationship status, you uncheck that box.  Same goes for applications, though you probably don’t care as much about that because the applications are largely juvenile and a waste of time.